Recently, my blog has been quieter than Alfonso Ribiero, Carlton from Fresh Prince, seriously what happened to him. So one of my New Year’s resolutions was to post more stories. So, 19 days later, I am trying to do this. I would tell you about my New Year but, to be honest, the only portion of the night I remember involves pouring drinks and selfie sticks capturing my fall from grace hour by hour.
Here is us doing the macarena, or auditioning for the Village People. Either or.
Lately, all I have noticed is how demeaning social media can be. It seems that the only time people log onto Facebook or Twitter or even Bebo, if you still live in 2007, is to criticise people for everything they do. I also respect the irony of me blogging critically about people criticising but c’est la vie or whatever the Spanish say.
One of the first things that will be seen when logging into social media in January 2015 is ‘gym bunnies’ having a go at the ‘newbies’ at the gym. Complaining that some ‘fat wallopers’ are using all the treadmills. Well, to be honest the only way they can become ‘thin wallopers’ is that treadmill. Everyone had to start off somewhere so why judge people that have taken the first step in becoming fit. Come back in 20 minutes and I’m sure the treadmill will be free while someone sweats profusely and has a panic attack in the corner.
Also, there has been a lot of digs at ‘New year, new me.’ New Year, New Me usually involves a plan in which this person becomes Cara Delevigne and starts the transformation with a trip to the hairdressers to get £20 worth of highlights. I get that it is annoying but sometimes the New Year is what people hold on to make themselves a better them. Why bring them down, brassy highlights and all.
I, like everyone else, had New Year resolutions, the old favourites that I repeat every year like one of them horrendous Christmas CDs, who buys these CDs!! It’s the same songs every year. Anyway, I promised I would get fit and lose weight and be more social at 12 am on the 1st of January. 12 hours later I can found with my head in a toilet bowl and wondering if I will ever feel normal again. This ritual happens every year.
I spent New Year demolishing vodka and wine, testing the capacity of my liver and failing, then like all young 20 year-old’s being put to bed at 02:30 after falling up the stairs, not being able to see straight and being astounded by the depth of my love for these people who were in an equal state, I like to keep the New Year classy.
Another one of my New Year’s resolutions is to be more involved in current affairs, top notch journalist right here, I know a little about politics but not that much. My understanding is limited to David Cameron – dick, Nick Clegg – dick, Ed Milliband – a sad Wallace without the Gromit and Nigel Farage – massive dick. One of the main reasons I want to know more about politics is so that when I’m at a party and someone brings up a deficit, cause we’re cool like that, I sound educated in between rounds of never have I ever.
I know I probably won’t stick to all of my New Year’s resolutions but it still makes a difference that you have a goal and want to better yourself, so stop judging people and get on with your own life, right!!
Another one of my New Year’s resolutions was to be nicer to people.